Tiago's Love Page 8

  He looks down as well, while David and the ‘much younger than me’ woman exchange a few words.

  Tiago’s phone vibrates with an alert. He tilts his phone up to read the message before he slides it back onto the table.

  For a few moments, I have the opportunity to observe him.

  Nothing reflects in his eyes.

  He seems preoccupied, sunk in thought, and absent from what happens around the table.

  He doesn’t seem to be fazed, tense, or even aware that I sit across from him.

  If it wasn’t for the memories I have with him, I’d have a hard time to believe that I’ve ever met or known this man before.

  Come to think of it, do I really know anything him?

  Chances are that I don’t.

  Whatever I thought I’d seen in him must’ve been only the surface–– if indeed, any of it was real.

  My gaze drags down from his handsome face to his broad chest and shoulders, his muscular arms that fill his suit jacket just right, and then his strong, beautiful hands.

  He looks so much like James, and yet, he is so different.

  Now, that he doesn’t smile, I recognize parts of him, but that’s about it.

  Everything else is gone. What happened between us is gone.

  What he told me in the past was part of a game he played to have me, and that it’s gone too.

  I shift my gaze to his date.

  I wonder if he uses the exact same strategy with her. Beautiful words, hot sex, and pleasant surroundings.

  He doesn’t seem to acknowledge her either, but that’s hardly any consolation.

  She is smitten with him. And why shouldn’t she be?

  Their food arrives just as David and I order the dessert.

  A moment later, David speaks again.

  “Have you been here before?” he asks Tiago.

  He tilts his head and slants his gaze in David’s direction, his eyes brushing my cheek.

  “It’s one of my favorite places,” he says, avoiding my stare at the last moment.

  I have a hard time to stay still in my seat. Thank God, the desserts arrive.

  A few minutes later, I finish eating mine and signal to David that I would like to leave.

  But before we do that, I excuse myself, pick up my bag and head to the bathroom.

  To my surprise, Tiago mirrors my move.

  Excusing himself as well, he follows me. His footsteps resonate behind me as we trail the corridor that takes us to the restroom.

  Silently, we part ways in front of the restroom doors.

  12

  EVE

  I enter the ladies room, my pulse shooting through the roof.

  I take my time as I refresh my makeup, brush my hair with my fingers, and wash my hands.

  I linger a little more when the door slides open, and he casually enters the space, a hand tucked into his pocket.

  I look at him in the mirror, my heart somersaulting in my chest.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Making sure that you’re okay.”

  Under different circumstances, this would’ve been a good joke.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Are you going to avoid me from now on?” he asks.

  I pivot slowly.

  Our eyes meet.

  It feels as if I stare at a wall.

  “Should I?”

  He presses his lips together, searching my eyes but not giving me an answer.

  “What happened with ‘I’m only interested in older women’?” I ask, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

  “What happened with ‘I’m looking for a man to share my life with’?”

  He surely knows how to hit back.

  “Were you under the impression that you were that man?” I ask maliciously.

  “I was under the impression that you weren’t lying.”

  I purse my lips and lean against the sink.

  “I wasn’t.”

  “How does David Moore fit that narrative?”

  “You don’t know anything about him,” I say, annoyed.

  “Neither do you,” he tosses at me coldly.

  “What do you mean?”

  He closes the space between us and stops in front of me, not close enough to feel his breath on my face, but close enough to feel his body heat.

  He speaks again.

  “The man you share your time with seems like a textbook catch. Handsome, rich, available. He’s all that, all right. He’s also a calculated, cold man who married into money, and has since sworn off women for anything else other than entertainment.”

  “Says who?”

  “The exclusive gentlemen’s clubs in Europe and Asia he’s a VIP member of.”

  I swallow hard.

  “That’s not exactly breakthrough information.”

  “Isn’t it?” he asks, his eyes dipping to my trembling lips. “Why does it affect you then?”

  “Why do you care so much about who he is?”

  “Because you like to know the truth.”

  “Knowing that stuff about him doesn’t make you look better... Tiago.”

  “I didn’t want to lie to you, Eve.”

  My eyebrows flick up as I clutch my hip.

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah, really. I merely used an opportunity because I wanted to know you better. I liked the way you looked at me as Christian. You felt lost and nervous. You struggled with anticipation. You trusted me that I would take you where you wanted to go with that man. I didn’t want to wipe away that feeling, plug you back to reality, and with one word, make you pull your guard up. I didn’t want you to look at me with different eyes. Besides, I’m not even sure you would've given me a chance.”

  He pauses.

  I don’t comment, so he continues.

  “You said it yourself... You would’ve never entertained the idea of being with me had you known that I was James Sexton’s brother. I’m sure the resemblance with him must’ve bugged you a lot. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have made a secret out of it. I’m not quite sure I understand why. Perhaps, you wanted to deny the crazy fact that you felt attracted to my brother for some time, or maybe it was something in the distant past. Perhaps it was nothing. Or maybe it was something that I can’t understand. Something that has to do with your friendship with his wife. Maybe you thought that you would send the wrong message to her, cast a shadow over your bond––your loyalty to her. I have no idea...”

  He pauses again as he ponders for a moment before he speaks.

  “And then, you would’ve had a problem with my age. Again, I don’t know why, but it could’ve been your life experience. You are used to a certain type of man, and a specific type of behavior that you find reliable, except none of that has worked for you in the past. Not to say that you liked my behavior a lot when you had no idea who I was. Or how old I was.”

  I study him for a second.

  “Everything you say may be true, but there is one little thing that you seem to forget. You didn’t know any of that when you started seeing me. You had no idea who I was or who my friends were. To you, I was some silly woman who paid a man to fuck her. Not because she wasn’t attractive enough or smart enough or driven enough to be with someone for real, but because there was something wrong with her. And you knew what it was. Right from the very beginning. Because it was written all over my face. You knew that I had no idea what I was doing. After so many failed attempts to connect with someone you knew exactly what I needed. And that was... To connect with someone. It’s so laughable when I think about it,” I mutter, my voice quivering as I get swept by a twister of emotions.

  Anger and humiliation and frustration.

  “You saw through me so easily that night. And you knew exactly who you were dealing with. It wasn’t that hard, was it? I was so hungry for what you offered me. And you gave it to me. The connection,” I say, tears flooding my eyes. “And then you canceled your date that night. The blonde woman. Who was she, by the way? Was she the s
ame blonde you have with you tonight? Was Andrea your friend all along? Is she infatuated with you? Or is she in love with you? Has she been benched all this time because you were running an experiment with me? Had fun with me? Measured the extent of your charming, seductive power on me?”

  Pale, he looks at me, his lips bloodless.

  “Was she your side piece all this time? Or was it me?” I scoff.

  He stays quiet.

  I puff in disbelief.

  “You didn’t need to do all that, Tiago,” I say as I look down briefly, shaking my head.

  I tilt my chin up, lifting my gaze.

  “See... This is much more than a mistaken identity situation, or you hiding who you were or me not telling you about my friends, or you being younger than me. You took advantage of me, and the fact that I was vulnerable, and no matter what your intentions were I cannot look at you with the same eyes. I cannot trust you. I cannot believe you. You had the upper hand while I was completely blindsided. You made me fall for you when I was at my lowest point, and you sure gave me in droves what I wanted the most. What I coveted the most. What most men could never give me. And that’s what makes me so suspicious of you.”

  A dark smile creases my lips. He still doesn’t say a word.

  “If there was anything that I learned out of this whole experience was that the men I met were not willing to give it to me because they seldom give it to anyone. Being connected to a woman curtails their freedom. Irritates them. That’s why many of them resent that kind of emotional bond. It hinders them and makes them feel trapped. That’s why it never worked for me. That’s why I felt untethered in my relationships–– the few that I had. And that’s why they never lasted. So you giving me that special thing was the most cherished gift you could’ve given me. Too bad that it came with a caveat. It wasn’t real.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  His words spur anger in me.

  “No?” I sneer.

  He doesn’t respond.

  “But see, I do know. I know it now. A man who would’ve been connected to me as you pretended to be, would’ve faced the consequences of his lies. Would’ve known how to deal with my anger. Would’ve recognized his mistake, and instead of stalking me in a restaurant, with a blonde in his tow, to try to make me jealous or to erase my impression that he had a thing for me, he would’ve found a way to act like a real man. To correct the damage that he did to me.”

  The blood draws from his face even more while a muscle starts ticking in his jaw.

  “Do you really think that I care about your little blonde? Do you?” I bark.

  My eyes dart back and forth as I take in his reaction, fury clouding his eyes.

  “Do you really think that I give a damn that she’s nineteen or whatever and has the face of an angel and looks at you as if her life pours from your very own eyes? Do you think I feel threatened by her?” I scoff again before another puff falls from my lips.

  He bites his lip, his body tenser than the tile beneath my feet.

  “See, in that regard, you are like everybody else. Like every other man that has crossed paths with me, and always refused to acknowledge something about me. You are not the only one who reads people well, who can spot weaknesses, and perhaps, has fun playing with it. I may not be good at a lot of things, but I know how to read people too–– in that regard I’m like your brother, and I sure read you–– if only for a moment. And yes, some things I couldn’t figure out, but some I did. You were looking for something out of the norm too. A safe haven. A place where you could be yourself. That’s why you wanted older women. You wanted depth and substance, and you wanted more than a pretty face. You were perhaps a little different than the other men, or at least the ones I had the chance to know. And the reason you were like that was that you needed to fulfill a little more than your physical desire. To fuel more than your body. To feed yourself with more than bland thoughts and empty conversations. You wanted all that depth but you also wanted to keep your freedom. That’s why you were always thinking about it. So yeah... On the one hand, the woman you have with you tonight or someone like her wouldn’t impose on your freedom. On the other hand, she wouldn’t give you what you need. It’s boring to be adulated all the time, to be perceived as perfect, to have someone cater to your desires all the time. It’s not stimulating, and it feels fake. And it is fake. She is infatuated with you while you are simply bored with her. Maybe you take her home tonight. Perhaps you have her, but her emotions are not the ones you crave and that’s the catch. You can’t have both.”

  He looks at me with fierce eyes as he parts his lips to speak.

  “I didn’t do most of the things that you are accusing me of. I didn’t take advantage of you. Perhaps it worked in my favor, but not all the way as you like to imagine. The thing is, there is nothing in my power to convince you otherwise. At least, not now. Whatever I’d say to you, it would be quickly dismissed by your anger. I made a mistake. Two perhaps. And one of them I could’ve remedied, and I regret I didn’t do it. I shouldn’t have panicked, and not answered your call, but I was afraid of your judgment. And I was right to be afraid. I could’ve also told everybody who I was with that night at the Christmas party, but I thought that I’d protect you if I didn’t. You were the one who came up with the idea anyway.”

  “I merely played your game.”

  He huffs, a dark grin on his lips.

  “Oh, come on. Be honest with yourself. You didn’t want this to become public knowledge less than I didn’t.”

  “Yes, you’re right. And you know why? Because I felt ashamed. I tried to get an escort, and what did I get? Someone close to my friends. Rain knew everything about my struggles. How I dwelled over everything and how I went back and forth. She even offered to pay the fee for me. Even James knew about it.”

  “Oh, James... Yeah,” he interrupts. “James who always knows better. Wasn’t he the one who wanted to hook you up with the two trust fund babies for a quick threesome in Monaco?” he asks, sarcasm choking him.

  “It was a fucking joke,” I snap.

  “Is David Moore a joke too?” he hurls at me.

  I look at him, flabbergasted.

  “What’s it to you?”

  “What’s it to me?” he asks as he closes the space between us.

  His nostrils flare with fury, his eyes glowering at me.

  He sears me with his stare, and yet, he takes his time before he speaks again.

  “How come of all the people who surround you, I’m the only one who’s not good for you? How come your good friends wanted you to hook up with all sorts of people, and somehow I’m the only one who’d be a bad choice for you?”

  “Why don’t you ask them?”

  A cold grin arches his lips.

  “I will. It’s just that I didn’t have the opportunity. Besides, I don’t know you that well... yet. Remember?”

  “You can tell them the truth,” I taunt him.

  “And accomplish what? You already hate me. And James would hate me even more. Rain wouldn’t trust me. And perhaps she would no longer trust you as well. Sure, I could do that and humiliate you even more. You just said it yourself. You feel ashamed. Being taken for a ride by a man who wasn’t who you thought he was. I’m just wondering...” he says as he lets his eyes move all over my face. “Would’ve been so much better had you met the real Christian?”

  I look at him, poker-faced.

  “What do you think it would’ve happened?” he asks again. “Have you thought about it? Let’s say he was me. And he would’ve made you fall for him the same way I did, and then he would’ve gone out there and ran his escort business. He would’ve seen other women and fucked them for money and then come to you and tell you that you were the real thing while they weren’t. Would’ve been better?”

  I look at him, chewing on my lip.

  “No,” I say with a quiet voice.

  A sad smile curves his lips.

  “Good. At least we agree on something,”
he says as he takes a step back. “Think about that when you let that guy...” he says, smirking crudely. “What’s his name? Oh, yes. David Moore. Think about that when you let him slide between your legs. I’m sure he’s eager to give you the connection that you crave too,” he says as I start shivering with rage.

  He takes another step back as if he fears my reaction.

  “And by the way... I’m happy to find out that you and Rain have something else in common. You like to pay for an escort while she was one.”

  He winks, his eyes cold like ice.

  The blood draws from my face.

  “Don’t worry. Her secret’s safe with me as is yours and as is mine. At least that much I expect from you. We’re all in this together, and since neither of us can’t disentangle ourselves from this mess, we’re bound to play this game together. But don’t expect me to stay away from you just to protect your feelings. And yeah... speaking about that woman. She was the blonde I was supposed to meet that night. She does like me… as a client. That’s what I am for her. But don’t believe everything you think you know about me. There are only a few men out there who crave a connection the way I do, and I am one of them, but sometimes all a man wants is to fuck someone without using his brain or heart.”

  The door slides open, just as I open my mouth to shoot a retort.

  “Excuse me,” a woman with short, fluffed up hair, statement jewelry, and a cute floral dress tosses at him. “Shouldn’t you be in the other room, young man?”

  Without a word, he slides past her, his complexion pale like the walls.

  13

  EVE

  ‘Merry Christmas!’

  The message flashes below the pictures Rain sent me a few moments ago.

  Quiet Christmas carols echo in the air, filling my place, a soft light streaming through the windows.

  Clumps of fog and flurries line the glass, bringing the silence of a graveyard over the city.

  My fingers curl around my cup of coffee, relishing the warmth of the ceramic wall as I scroll down with my free hand, checking the pictures on my phone.

  Vast rooms decorated with Christmas trees and Holiday lights and colorful flowers parade in front of my eyes. Familiar faces. Happy faces. Kids’ faces. James and Rain. Lex and Dahlia. Ed and Thea. James Jr. and his sister, Leia.