Loving Shade Read online

  “Eat. Don’t worry. You’re doing fine,” I say to her.

  We spend a few moments eating before we spin around and stroll across the large backyard.

  A trimmed lawn stretches in front of us. Tall trees with thick crowns outline the area, several gravel footpaths connecting the back of the house with a small lake.

  We spot a candlelit pavilion with two chairs and a table, and we head that way, cutting our way through groups of people. Soon, the noises quiet down. The air feels colder, the early evening breeze blowing through the trees.

  We enter the gazebo, set the plates on the wicker table and slide into the chairs. Our eyes shift to the horizon as the sun gets ready to set. Seattle lights shine brightly in the distance.

  “This is beautiful,” she says as we both soak in the view.

  The lingering sunset paints the sky with tones of red, orange and violet, the colors darkening quickly as the sun goes down.

  A gust of wind makes the luscious leaves rustle, fragrant petals falling from the blooming shrubs. A sweet floral scent disperses through the air.

  My eyes get drawn to the strings of paper lights that sway in the air, the imagery bringing back my childhood memories.

  “Champagne?”

  The voice echoes not far from us.

  We flick our heads toward the gazebo entrance, just as a man who carries a tray with drinks walks inside.

  We nod.

  He sets two delicate flutes on the table before he smoothly strides away.

  I curl my fingers around the glass, and bring it to my lips to get a taste. The golden liquid washes over my taste buds, coating my mouth with its sweet aroma.

  “Mmm... It’s good.”

  We turn our focus to the food plate and eat again.

  From time to time, we drink champagne.

  “Where do we go from here, Tara?” she mutters after a while, suddenly wrapped in a pensive mood.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t know. I was thinking about…”

  She shrugs, her eyes set in the distance.

  “Everything, I guess. Life in general. Work. Love…”

  She pauses for a moment before she goes on.

  “A few months ago we were in a completely different situation. Partying in a place like this? No way. Accompanied by men like them? Nah-uh. That would’ve been a fantasy.”

  “I gather you like Chad.”

  Her face turns crimson, a smile reaching her eyes as she shifts her gaze to me.

  “Is that even a question?” she mutters.

  I chuckle, amused.

  She glances around, making sure that nobody is within earshot of us, and then leans closer to me and speaks again.

  “I would lick his fucking balls if I had the chance,” she says in a quiet voice.

  My chest rocks with laughter.

  “You sound like you are really starved for, um… said balls.”

  “Yes, I am,” she says, drinking more champagne, and hiding her grin behind her glass.

  She sets it down before she speaks again.

  “For all the big talk, Matt was very conservative to put it elegantly. He wouldn’t let me do much to him. And even when he did, he was always conflicted and so self-conscious I always ended up being nervous and second guessing myself. He just couldn’t snap out of it. I could never tell whether he enjoyed it or not. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about him. I don’t want to ruin this beautiful evening.”

  “Well, there’s one way you can find out.”

  She flicks her gaze up, smoothly dabbing her lips with a napkin.

  “To find out what?”

  “How he is,” I say, my eyes drawn to the dark silhouette heading our way. Straightening my back, I shoot her a suggestive look. “Just give it a try. You’ll find out if it works or not,” I say evenly.

  Her eyes fill with a smile as she quickly, figures out that something is going on behind her back.

  “Is it him?” she mouths to me, flicking her eyebrows suggestively.

  Slowly, I tip my head down, my eyes on Chad.

  He motions to me not to give him away, but it’s too late for that. She’s already fidgeting in her chair, filled with anticipation.

  Silently, he enters the pavilion and stops behind her. His hands slide down her bare shoulders before he gently cuffs the back of her neck.

  Her face beams with delight.

  Shifting in her seat, she glances up at him.

  A beautiful smile curls his lips when he locks her eyes, his grin showcasing his handsome features.

  It’s hard not to register his good looks.

  “Care for a dance?” he murmurs.

  Spellbound, she nods and takes his hand, pushing out of her chair. She looks as if she just slipped into a trance.

  “Are you going to be okay?” she mutters, glancing at me.

  I nod.

  “Yes. Don’t worry about me.”

  He winks at me behind her back, a lopsided smile curving his lips. She turns to him, and drinks him in, lost.

  Smoothly, he wraps his arm around her waist and swishes her away.

  Hand in hand, they walk across the lawn, looking into each other’s eyes, her gaze filled with a warm smile, a heart-melting grin on his face.

  It’s been a while since I’ve seen her so happy.

  Soon, they start to dance along other couples.

  I spend a few more minutes on my own before I push out of my chair and walk toward the house as well.

  Casually, I run my gaze over the crowd, searching for Shade.

  If Chad is already back, he must be in the backyard as well. They both were discussing business inside one of the rooms in the house with a few other men, but that was an hour ago.

  Trying to keep my mind occupied with something else, I make a beeline for the buffet table, run my eyes over the gourmet food, and grab a small plate, ready to taste a few more appetizers.

  A nagging feeling crawls on me.

  I glance over my shoulder, my gaze sweeping the crowd for the second time. The entrance and the stairs, and then the terrace and the dance floor.

  People walk in and out of the house making it difficult for me to find him. Just when I’m ready to give up, a familiar gesture and silhouette catch my eye.

  Facing away from me, Shade runs his long-fingered hand through his hair, his tall body blocking my view of anyone else.

  He takes a small step to the side to let a couple swing by, and that’s when I notice a young woman standing next to him.

  My heart leaps to my throat.

  A petite brunette clad in a cream lace dress that makes her look like a bride looks up at him with adoring eyes.

  Towering over her, his silhouette blocks her face.

  I plop the plate on the table, take a few steps to the side and crane my neck out, trying to get a glimpse of her.

  They talk to each other, but that’s not a casual conversation–– I can tell.

  Concern beams on her face, and neither of them smile as if they discuss an important matter.

  He tilts his head down and listens to what she has to say, the seriousness on her face making my stomach tie in knots.

  He addresses whatever concern she was voicing, his words bringing a shred of hope to her eyes.

  Who is this woman?

  He curls his hand around her shoulder, a friendly gesture by all means, and yet to me, it speaks of more.

  He knows this woman, and she is smitten with him. I know I shouldn’t be concerned, but for some reason I am.

  Sadness makes her eyes slant down, her next gesture taking me completely by surprise.

  She takes his hand, brings it to her face and leans her cheek against his touch. He doesn’t pull back.

  Something crumbles inside me.

  Distraught, I reach back and grip the table with a trembling hand as my knees begin to soften.

  Tenderly, he brings the other hand to her face and says something to her. Her eyes sparkle with a smile.
Spellbound, she listens to him, nodding from time to time.

  “That’s what happens when you ignore my advice, Tara.” The voice slithers in my ears like a poisonous snake. “What did you expect?” she mutters behind my back, my stomach crawling up my throat.

  “Good evening, Elia,” I say dryly.

  She sashays in front of me, satisfaction beaming on her face.

  Her gaze goes down on me as we study each other briefly. She fashions a dark green, gem-encrusted gown, lavishly accessorized with diamonds.

  Pivoting next to me, she’s trying to catch my gaze. I finally look at her, reluctantly meeting her eyes.

  Smiling, she scans a fruit platter sitting on the table, picks a strawberry and brings it to her lips.

  Tension sets in my bones.

  Gingerly, she bites the juicy fruit and shifts her position, making sure she blocks my view, so that I can’t see Shade.

  Giving me no other choice, I move my focus entirely to her.

  A smile curls her lips, yet it doesn’t reaches her eyes.

  “I’ve warned you, sweetie, haven’t I? But you didn’t want to believe me.”

  Precious, she almost rolls her eyes.

  I look at her in silence.

  “You think that you know everything when you’re young. What you don’t know is that a heart is stupid, and if you let it choose for you, it will get you in a lot of trouble. The reality is different than what you imagine, sweetie.”

  I try to ignore her.

  Admittedly, her words come at the worst possible time, especially since I’m tempted to believe them.

  Craning my neck out for the umpteenth time, I glance over her shoulder, trying to get a glimpse of Shade again.

  He’s still there. Comforting the dark-haired woman.

  I swing my gaze back to Elia.

  A dark smile sits on her tilted lips, her eyes streaming sheer poison.

  “Why are you against me, Elia?”

  My question pops out of nowhere.

  Stupid, and senseless. Besides, I know the answer.

  She can’t stomach someone like me. Or rather, she can’t make peace with the idea that she has no sway over him.

  Narrowing her eyes, she lets out a fake chuckle that barely falls from her lips.

  “What makes you think I have something against you, sweetheart?” She shoots me a glare, derision lining her smile. “I don’t care enough about you to have something against you,” she says, serving me a blunt lie. “If I remember correctly, I was the one who told you to stay away from him. Believe it or not, I know him better than you. I tried to help you and protect you from disappointment, but you didn’t want to listen to me.”

  As she keeps talking, my eyes are drawn to the house again.

  Shade takes the stairs down, the woman following him closely. As they reach the last step, the brunette grabs his arm, coaxing him to stop.

  He spins to her.

  She takes his face in her hands, pulls him to her, and kisses him. Her gesture takes him by surprise––I can see that, yet for a mere second his lips belong to her.

  Gently, he tears away from her. She no longer follows him. Mixed feelings pour over me, most of them woven with disappointment.

  Irritated, I shift my focus away from him and center it on his mother.

  “You know what, Elia? What’s meant to happen will happen whether you want it or not. You can’t stop it as much as I can’t stop you from meddling or trying to pull him away or screwing with my life. I don’t need to do anything, and I surely don’t need your advice. Stop pretending that you care. You don’t give a damn about him or me. Had you cared about him, you wouldn’t have left him in that school overseas.”

  She purses her lips, annoyed, her eyes turning dark.

  “Well, dear Tara, my life, and my decisions are my own. I couldn’t care less what you think.”

  “It’s not what I think. It’s what you did,” I say.

  Hollow inside, I throw her an empty glance, lift the bottom of my dress and pull away.

  Halfway across the lawn, I catch Shade’s eye.

  We lock gazes briefly, enough for him to register the darkness on my face and eyes.

  Cold, I tear my gaze away, hurrying in the opposite direction.

  He calls my name, the sound of his voice drowning in the noise of the party.

  Picking up the pace, I rush away.

  The path I’m on splits a moment later, and then I have no damn idea which way to go. It all looks the same to me.

  I take a guess and turn left. The wall of trees grows thicker as the road begins to narrow. Soon, a sound of trickling water rolls in my ears.

  Shit. I must’ve made the wrong turn.

  I’m far from the house, and nowhere near the exit.

  Panting and trembling, I stop near an old tree, bend at my waist, and try to catch my breath.

  Silence grows around me, the moonlight throwing a faint glow over me. Sadness rolls over me as the adrenaline rush tapers off.

  Leaning back against the tree, I listen to my ragged breaths. A small noise––a cracking branch, perhaps, catches my attention.

  My ears perk up. I take a step forward, glance around and listen attentively. There’s nothing. Not a clue what it was.

  Hesitantly, I take a step back.

  I hear a swish before I feel his strong arms curling around me. My back hits his chest as he pulls me into him.

  “What are you doing, Tara?” Shade growls through clenched teeth.

  I try to escape his lock, and the more I fight him, the harder he tightens his arms around me.

  “What the hell was that?” he barks, more anger flowing through his voice.

  “I could ask you the same thing.”

  “Then fucking ask me,” he thunders before he lets go of me.

  I spin around.

  He looks at me, pissed and at the same time, baffled.

  I take a step back until my shoulders hit the tree.

  “Ask me!” he demands, his eyes throwing fire.

  His hand curls around my arm, his fingers digging into my flesh.

  Hard beneath his skin, ropes of muscles coil and tighten around his neck.

  Silently, I run my eyes down on him.

  His bow tie is missing. His shirt is open at the neckline.

  “Where were you all this time, Shade?”

  10

  TARA

  Surprise washes over him, killing his anger.

  He studies me for a moment.

  “Your shirt... is open,” I say, barely articulating the words. “And you’re late. Chad was back before you. Where were you?”

  He pulls away slightly and crosses his arms over his chest, his fingers slowly brushing his chin as he barely pushes back a smile.

  “That woman...” I say hesitantly, thrown off by his reaction. “Who is she to you?”

  His eyes glint in the dimness, a soft grin blossoming on his lips.

  “She kissed you...” I say, even more, disconcerted.

  “Did I kiss her back?”

  His words drift through the air, soft and tender as a whisper. I search his eyes.

  “It made me sick, Shade... To see you with her. “

  Holding my gaze, he takes a long breath. My gaze shifts to his lips. He leans closer, erasing the small space between us.

  “You’re so beautiful Tara when you’re in love, it melts my heart,” he says quietly, his breath tickling my lips. “You’re mine, and I’m yours. It’s that simple. There is no other woman. And if you listen to your heart you know it’s the truth. Don’t torment yourself with something that’s not there.”

  His eyes narrow with another grin as he drinks me in.

  Tenderly, I roll my fingertips across his cheekbones, my eyes delving into his. He lowers his mouth and slowly locks my lips, kissing me lovingly.

  A few moments later, he tears away.

  “Chad and I met with a few people and discussed business. The woman who you saw me with is som
eone from the past who is having a hard time letting go of me. We were never a couple if that makes a difference to you. We had an encounter of sorts and then, she thought we could be more than that. I’ve never lead her to believe that, but my mom did.”

  He slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out the bow tie.

  “And here is the bow tie. You already know how much I hate ties,” he says, smiling.

  My eyes dart back and forth between him and the bow tie as regret seeps into my heart.

  I grab the tie and tuck it in his pocket before I swiftly peel his jacket off.

  His eyebrows tilt up, a slow grin curving his lips.

  Silent, I run my fingers down his shirt, undoing his buttons one by one. Once I reach the belt, I yank his shirt out of his pants and pull it wide open.

  I brush his chest and abs with my palms, indulging on the feel of taut skin and carved muscles.

  His hands go up while his eyes look down, following my moves. Smoothly, I unfasten his belt and open his fly.

  Next, I reach under my dress, pull my panties down to my thighs, grab it with both hands and rip it off me.

  He rolls his lip beneath the sharp edge of his teeth, palming his erection.

  His free hand slides into my hair, his body crashing into me, pinning me against the tree. Hungrily, our mouths collide, starting a fire between us.

  He tugs my zipper down, slides his palms inside my dress, and cups my breasts.

  I flick the shoulder clasp open, and the top drapes off my chest.

  “Take it off,” he says.

  I shimmy out of my gown.

  Lowering his head, he clamps his mouth on a nipple, his tongue swirling over the hard flesh. He sucks on it hard, rolling it between his teeth as I push my chest against his mouth.

  He licks it and kisses it, his hand running up between my thighs, fingers pushing smoothly inside me. Pleasure burns through my blood, making my hot flesh pulse.

  “Oh, Shade...” I murmur as I thread my fingers through his hair and briefly close my eyes, high on him.

  He sucks on the other nipple, spurring more throbbing pleasure between my thighs.

  His mouth travels lower and lower, his hands sliding down my hips as he kneels in front of me. He slaps my ass gently, and I lift my thigh, propping my knee on his shoulder.

  His mouth goes to the spot between my legs, his tongue tracing my slit, swirling around my clit, sucking the swollen flesh between my folds. My back slams against the tree as my body starts to shudder.