Finding Home Read online

  “Yeah, so things are not always what you think they are. It wasn’t easy for any of us,” I say, and I tap him gently on the shoulder.

  “Let’s go back,” I say, and I dive back into the water.

  He follows me.

  We swim close to the bottom and head back to the main room, the view above us looking surreal. We surface, this time in the middle of a round shaped stretch of water, both catching our breaths.

  “Man, this is fucking crazy,” I say glancing around, the candles making everything look like a fairy tale.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he murmurs, patting his skin dry with a towel.

  Wet strands of hair fall over his eyes. I give him a double take.

  “Red or white?” I ask strolling to a nearby table.

  “Red.”

  I pour two goblets of red wine and walk to him. He lies on a large, round red sofa, rows of candles raising a wall of light behind him.

  He holds my eyes as I erase the space between us, and slide next to him. I give him his glass, and we both drink the ruby liquid.

  A taste of crushed grapes fills my mouth, instant warmth flowing through my blood. His eyes sparkle with a secret smile, and it doesn’t take words to know what he wants. This is something we’ve been craving for so long.

  I empty my glass and set it on the side, and he does the same.

  “You didn’t have to do all this...” I say leaning close to him.

  A grin sets his eyes ablaze. He rolls to his back as I hover over him, and his lips part for me as I set my mouth on his, a mix of wine and heat transferring to my tongue.

  “I know what you want, and we would’ve done it anyway...” I say, his fingers weaving into my hair. “You thought I didn’t want it?” I ask quietly, and he smiles. “Because we’ve never done it?”

  “It crossed my mind.”

  “Hmm... Then you’ve lost your touch, baby,” I murmur, and he curls his arm around my neck, pulling me to him.

  I crash into his chest, my teeth sinking into his lips.

  “Jagger...” he breathes out as I glide my palm down his body and run my fingers between his legs, stroking his shaft.

  I slide my tongue into his mouth, a groan vibrating in his throat.

  We roll to our sides, facing each other. He grabs my backside, and deepens our kiss, our cocks swelling and grinding.

  “I can’t get enough of this...” he says, his voice hoarse, his eyes foggy with lust.

  He tears away and slides down, and then he rolls his lips on my cock.

  “Fuck...” I grunt as he fills his mouth with me.

  Pleasure sweeps through me as I hold his head against my body and slowly rock my hips.

  He licks my balls and squeezes my shaft, and then he rolls the heel of his palm over my tip, again and again, before he clamps his mouth on me.

  He does it so fucking well.

  “I want you, Brax...” I say, and he shifts his position and slides his groin close to me, so I can take his shaft as he keeps stroking me.

  Moaning, he tilts his hips, driving his hot, hard flesh between my lips while I pull him down my throat.

  He grabs my butt and fucks my mouth while sucking me so good, and I do the same to him. His moans lift in the air, his pre-cum coating my tongue.

  A storm whips up in my body, between my hot wet cock in his mouth, and his dick between my lips, my blood catches on fire, every piece of me brewing mind-blowing pleasure. His body tenses, his balls tightening.

  A hurricane is about to barrel through us. We move our hips, and wave our bodies, in perfect synch with each other as we’ve done so many times before yet never like this. Sucking harder, we both pull through that perfect high.

  His crown hits the back of my throat, hard like a rock and then cum bursts out in my mouth and I let everything go too, shooting my load on his lips.

  Pleasure breaks through me, and shudder after shudder. I leave his body and bite his ass, and he slaps mine laughing.

  Slowly rolling, I crash on my back.

  5

  BRAXTON, Rome

  He palms his shaft, and glances at me, his chest still rocking with shallow breaths.

  “That was fucking intense,” he murmurs, mirroring my thoughts.

  He snakes an arm around me, his eyes soft and lustful, our bodies pressed together, our legs entangled. His hand goes up my back, sliding into my hair as he kisses me softly, so tender and warm, a swarm of tingles rushing down my body.

  “This feels good,” he says and smiles against my lips.

  He splays his fingers on my face and kisses me again, and I respond to him with trembling lips, my heart thudding in my chest.

  His hand goes down my body, my muscles hardening in its wake.

  “I know you want me to fuck you, baby... I will fuck you, and I might let you fuck me too,” he says, a grin stretching across his lips, and blood pools in my groin.

  He pushes off the sofa, grabs the lube and heads to the bathroom. Glancing at me over his shoulder, he winks at me, and I leap off the bed.

  The water already runs in the shower when I enter the large chamber made of marble, porcelain, steel, and glass. Soft lights make everything sparkle.

  He flexes his arms and rakes his fingers through his hair, the stream of water rushing down his chest, dripping between his parted legs. His cut muscles shift beneath his skin with each and every move.

  He steps out, and I throw him a towel as we trade places.

  Minutes later, he turns the water low, and steps behind my back. He grabs a bath sponge from a shelf.

  “Do you remember the night I watched you and Violet in the shower?”

  “Yes,” I say, smiling as he starts rubbing my back.

  He slathers body wash on me, peaks of foam forming on my skin.

  “Do you remember what she asked you?”

  “Uh-huh,” I mumble as he snakes his arm around me and start drawing circles on my abs and then trails below my waist.

  I brace my palms against the wall and look down at his hand.

  “What did she ask you?”

  “Many things,” I say, distracted as he sets the bath sponge to the side and rolls his hands on my body.

  “You taught her a lesson then. Remember?”

  “Yes,” I say, almost losing my breath as he cuffs my twitching shaft, and starts stroking my erection, the body wash making his fingers glide smoothly.

  He persists on my bulging crown, and I run out of breath.

  “There are no boundaries, no guilt, and no sexual turf. What we do is somewhat different from what other people do...”

  “Yes,” I murmur, my focus completely shattered.

  He presses his body against mine, his hand stroking me with long, twisted, loving motions, his erection sliding up and down between my butt cheeks, my hard cock jutting out.

  “She asked you about my tattoo... What it means...” he murmurs.

  “Yes... Life without love and freedom is death.”

  His fist squeezes my hard meat as he slowly grinds his shaft against my ass. I’m hot as hell and pulsing in his hand, and he must know by now how close I am.

  “Death is what I saw, baby...” he purrs, and by the sound of his voice, I gather he looks down, observing the rolling of his hips against my butt.

  I glance down as well and thrust against his hand, sliding through his fist.

  “That first day, in Amsterdam. That’s all I saw in your eyes. You pulled away and got lost. You taught Violet a lesson that you forgot. I didn’t push you away, and she didn’t either, yet you felt guilt, the need to respect boundaries, and you had this idea that you had encroached on my sexual turf. There is no such thing, baby. That’s what the whole damn deal was from the get-go. That’s why the whole thing worked out so well. Do you understand?” he says, and I nod.

  “Say it, Braxton,” he says, a smile flashing in his voice.

  “I do. Yes. I understand,” I say with a shaky voice.

  “Good.
Fucking good,” he murmurs.

  He runs the water on me and then turns the shower off, his hand coming back to me.

  He starts stroking me again, and I prop my foot on a small ledge, opening my legs. With sweeping motions, he starts caressing my balls and my shaft.

  Gently, he starts rubbing my butthole and pushes his lube coated finger into me. I suck in a sharp breath and bite my lip.

  He keeps his finger still while working on my cock.

  “Fuck…” I murmur as he squeezes my erection, polishing the dripping crown.

  “You want it as much as I do,” he mutters, his erection stirring.

  I’m rock hard, and my back ring starts opening. He pulls his finger out, and I feel cold lube first, and then the tip of his cock.

  “You’re fucking good,” he says, slowly pushing in while moving his hand up and down my shaft.

  A shudder goes through me.

  He stops stroking me for a moment, focusing on the slow motion of his cock as it slides into my body. Then, he stills, and I clench against his shaft while pulsing in his fist.

  A long exhale leaves my chest.

  “Relax,” he says, his breath fanning over my neck. “You feel so fucking good,” he murmurs with a raspy voice.

  I feel him throbbing and twitching, and my balls could easily explode. I turn into steel in his hand.

  His fist starts going up and down again, his tongue swirling on my neck as he begins to pump me. Fireworks go off between my legs.

  “Fuck, Jagger,” I groan, my nails scraping the wall.

  He stops rocking his hips, and does a twisting motion with his hand, teasing the underside of my cock until I’m about to shatter.

  He moves again.

  Slow thrusts, and smooth hand strokes. He finds a rhythm, and I start moving with him.

  “That’s good...” he purrs, his arm closing around me.

  He soon picks up the pace while I’m shuddering with pleasure.

  “Don’t fucking stop,” I say, my ass clenching, my dick pulsing.

  He changes the rhythm as he quickly scales up. His foot sits next to mine on the ledge as he opens his legs and rolls his hips, my body sucking in his hardness, so hungry for his cock.

  He peels his hand off my erection and grabs my hips, and that’s when I hear him growl.

  “I can’t fucking stop,” he says, fucking me fast and hard, a roar lifting off his lips as we both come undone.

  He keeps slamming me until I feel his warm release in me, my own cum shooting.

  “Fuck!” he thunders, and pulls out, stroking himself, still hard.

  Moments later, he slows down just as my breaths begin to steady. I turn slowly, my back hitting the wall.

  He slides his palms on either side of my head and looks at me, softly panting. I grab the back of his neck and pull him to me. Drunk on pleasure, we kiss.

  “We’re so fucked,” he says, grinning.

  VIOLET

  I purposely left late. For one, it took me a while to find something to wear and then, I wanted to make sure that the party was in full swing when I arrive so I can sneak in and quickly blend in, avoiding the monotonous sound of my mom’s long list of grievances.

  I’ve been here for only a few days, and she’s already pointed out to me several times that Brad got away, and now Jonas is nothing but a missed opportunity, and my friend Liv is just another smart woman who’s done the sensible thing, and then, of course, no one in the right state of mind moves overseas to live away from home and the people they know.

  At least Lorraine kept her mouth shut.

  It’s been a week since I came back, and checking into a hotel was a great idea. The last thing I needed was my mom’s scrutiny. Especially now, since this whole trip proves to be more problematic than I thought.

  Everything felt good in the beginning, and then mixed feelings poured over me. I’d like to say the news regarding Liv’s engagement didn’t affect me, and it wasn’t because of Jonas, but something about their looming wedding put things in perspective for me.

  It made me look at my own life differently, and that’s how it dawned on me that I’ve been missing something.

  I did envy Liv for a moment. I thought it must be nice to be able to make plans for the future and look forward to a life without so many variables.

  The car pulls to a smooth stop.

  I lift the bottom of my gown up and climb out thanking the driver who holds the door open for me. My dress, a simple, halter style black gown paired with diamonds, slides down my legs as I straighten and let the hemline fall.

  I expect a lot of crap to come my way this evening, so I may as well just take it in style.

  The event room crams with people. I plaster a grin on my face, and start making the rounds. Minutes later, I spot Liv. She and Jonas sit at my mom’s table.

  Not only has my mom managed to keep in touch with Jonas––just in case, darling, you never know how these things turn out, she said to me, but she has also to introduced him to Brad, and now they’re good buddies.

  If she could run the world for a day, the planet would be healed.

  She wears a light gray silk suit, the jacket featuring a nipped waist and padded shoulders, the long skirt with a generous split on her left leg.

  Rhinestone encrusted buttons close the jacket at the front, matching the sparkling diamonds at her neck. Lorraine fashions a chocolate chiffon dress with a big bow at her waist. Her hair touches her shoulders, her eyes, spellbound as always, glued to her husband.

  Nothing has changed.

  I greet everybody and take a seat next to Liv. She wears a beaded gown reminiscent of the glitz and glamor of the thirties era, making her look like an art deco goddess. Her eyes follow me as I take a seat. My mom can’t erase her frown from her brow.

  Nervous, I keep glancing over my shoulder.

  I gulp half of my drink, already motioning for a second one when Liv slides her hand on top of mine.

  “You look like you’re about to bolt out at any moment,” she says, and I start to chuckle.

  She’s not far from the truth.

  “I’m good. How’s the evening so far?” I ask, my gaze sweeping the room.

  Not far from us, Brad and Sheryl engage into a dialogue with another couple. His suit makes him look refined. She wears a strapless mermaid gown and grins ear to ear, her eyes broadcasting unending adoration for him.

  He seems utterly content.

  As she leans toward him, and he curls his arm around her shoulders, my mind swaps her image with mine from a not so distant past. I see myself in her place, perhaps not so lulled, but certainly giving away the same vibe. Swept off my feet. Content. Settled.

  I study his eyes. He seems to be in his element, and although I know him well, I can’t tell if what he feels for her is genuine affection or simply flattery spurred by the attention she’s been showering him with.

  What she might not know, yet, is that everything is and always will be about him. Soon she’ll find out, the same way I did, although, he has enough money to make her not care.

  Liv’s eyes follow my gaze.

  “The evening was okay,” she murmurs.

  “Hmm?”

  “You were asking...”

  “Oh, yes... yes. I’m sorry. And mom?”

  “She’s only made a couple of comments. It wasn’t that bad,” she says.

  “That’s because you don’t know her. She’d rip me to pieces if given the opportunity,” I mutter and steal a glance in my mom’s direction.

  Flashing a perfect smile, she shifts her focus from one guest to another, charming everybody with her wit.

  This must be her nightmare, I muse. The multimillionaire catch snatched by my bestie while the renowned surgeon gets away with the sales girl.

  I start to laugh softly, and Liv looks at me, smiling.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing. I think I need a stronger drink,” I say, having a hard time keeping my snicker under control. br />
  I push out of the chair, and she follows my example.

  Moments later, drinks in hands, we stroll to the covered patio and recede into a quiet corner.

  I take a sip of liquor and let out a long exhale.

  “You look like you’re ready to go back home,” she says.

  “I probably shouldn’t have come to begin with.”

  She observes me in silence.

  “It has nothing to do with you, Violet. You can’t change the way your mom thinks if that’s what’s bothering you.”

  I turn around and lean against the railing, my glass dangling from my hand, my eyes set on the crowd inside.

  “That is one thing that irks me, and then... I can’t believe I was that woman,” I say pointing in Sheryl’s direction as she tips her head back, laughing submissively for her new man. “Well, maybe I didn’t giggle like her,” I say, and we share a chuckle.

  As silence sneaks between us, my smile vanishes from my face.

  “Life is really strange,” I murmur, as flashbacks from the past come back to me.

  My gaze slips to Brad’s hands and then back to his face, my eyes searching for those little things that once were so familiar, and meant something to me. His hands, and smile… the glint in his eyes he used to have only for me. It’s all gone, replaced by the sparks and grin meant for another woman.

  I shift my gaze away from him when a familiar face catches my eyes.

  “Oh, my... Knock me over with a feather. ”

  “What happened?” Liv asks, swiveling her head, her eyes skimming the room.

  “Do you remember my fuck buddy, Tony.”

  “What about him?”

  “He’s here,” I murmur.

  “Okay,” she says, sounding as if she braces herself for bad news.

  “He’s not alone...” I mutter as I take in the woman linked to his arm.

  “And?”

  “He swore he'd never get attached, and he’s here with Ella.”

  She smiles.

  “Who’s Ella?”

  “Ella is a friend of Lorraine’s. Physician.”

  I lock eyes with Liv, and she gives me a questioning look, and then I realize I forgot the most important thing.

  “Lorraine just told me Ella got engaged to a big shot executive,” I say, crushing ice between my teeth.