Finding Home Page 3

  “Have you made any friends?”

  “Yeah, I have. People are nice and friendly, laid back, but most are couples and have their own lives. I don’t want to impose on anyone.”

  She takes a bite of food, and I shift my gaze to my plate as well.

  Come to think of it, I miss Jagger all the time. And I wish I could tell her about the other man I dearly miss.

  “Anyway, enough about me. I hope you come to the engagement party, and you bring your fiancé with you...”

  A blush spreads over her cheeks.

  “You’re coming. Right?” I mutter.

  “Yes, yes... Listen,” she starts softly and sets her fork down.

  I look at her attentively while curling my fingers around my glass of wine and taking a sip.

  “Yes?”

  “I wanted to tell you on the phone, but I thought it would be better if we talk face to face.”

  I set my glass on the table, and straighten my back, smoothly running the tip of my tongue over my lip.

  “I know it doesn’t mean much to you, but in a way, it does to me... Before I say anything, I just want to let you know I didn’t plan any of this. Things just happened this way,” she says, not making much sense.

  As she ponders over her words, a limo stops in front of the hotel, and the driver rushes to open the back door. A man climbs out, and the moment he turns around and glances at the entrance, my mind has already connected the dots.

  “The man I’m engaged to...” she says tentatively and pauses, having a hard time saying his name, oblivious to the fact that my eyes already follow him as he strides across the restaurant.

  “Hi, Jonas!” I say before Liv has a chance to finish her sentence.

  She swivels her head, a smile crawling up her lips, her eyes glinting with emotion. He gives me a warm smile, a soft kiss on my cheek, and then a gentle hug.

  I invite him to sit.

  “I wish I could stay, but I have to attend a business dinner,” he says, checking his phone. “I wanted to stop and say hi. Liv told me you’re back for Brad’s engagement party,” he says.

  It’s not factually correct, but I give him a polite nod. He swiftly shifts his focus away from me and places a soft kiss on her lips.

  “I’ll see you later, baby,” he says, and smoothly pulls away.

  “Why was it so hard to tell me?” I mutter, her face shifting through colors as she sinks back into her chair.

  “I didn’t know how you’d react?”

  “Why would I react badly? We were never an item.”

  She shrugs.

  “Well, I’m glad that you’re not mad.”

  “Of course I’m not mad. Why would I be? I’m happy for you Liv.” Still, she averts her eyes, her skin flushed. “So, when did you hook up with him?”

  “After you left, he offered me the Editor-in-chief position.”

  Knock me over with a feather. Although, should I really be surprised?

  “You didn’t tell me that either.”

  “Well, they were connected in a way,” she says, her voice a bit shaky.

  As if I had any doubt.

  “Still, I don’t understand why all the secrecy. These are things I never wanted for myself,” I say and pause, realizing that it doesn’t sound very flattering.

  The truth is, I didn’t want Jonas, and yes, I didn’t want the job, but I understand her reservations. She’s got everything she thought was mine, through a sheer technicality.

  Yuck. That sounds like crap.

  “I’m really happy for you,” I say, shooing my confusing thoughts away. “How do you like your new job?”

  A smile lights up her face.

  “It’s grueling, but he helps me a lot, and I’m not going to do it for long. He’s already looking for buyers. He plans to cash out in a few months. He wants us to take a break from everything, get married and then travel the world for a while... or something,” she says, smiling at a private thought.

  That’s a great plan if you ask me. Still, she doesn’t sound very enthusiastic.

  As I listen to her dishing out their plans for the future, something crumbles inside me. If he’s set to do that, he probably will. He has the money, and she’s so young. They have enough time to start a family later on.

  “Good for you,” I say, melancholy flashing in my voice.

  Her eyes soften.

  “Are things okay with you?” she asks, a bit concerned.

  “Yes, yes...They are.”

  “Do you have any regrets?”

  I shake my head.

  “No.”

  “You’re a bit lonely there.”

  “Yeah, you could say that. I am. Especially the past few months, but he’ll be back. Working online, by myself, doesn’t help either. I guess it’s a big adjustment,” I murmur.

  “It’s probably easier for him,” she says.

  “Yeah, it probably is. If nothing else he’s surrounded by a lot of people every night.”

  Her eyebrows arch slowly.

  “Women?”

  “There are women. Of course, there are. He has tons of fans, but he’s good. We’re good. It’s just that I can’t even share with him how much I miss him and how hard it is for me. Besides, I don’t want to sound like a crying baby. He’d insist on me traveling with him, and that would only make me feel worse. So, anyway. That’s what it is,” I say, and let out a silent sigh.

  “What about his friend?” she asks out of nowhere, and I flip my gaze at her.

  “What about him?”

  “Isn’t he in Europe as well?”

  “He’s in school, in London.” I look down for a moment. “Hopefully, things will change in the future,” I say.

  “If not, you can always come back,” she tosses at me.

  I search her eyes.

  “Seriously. We could use a consultant for Rapt. Jonas is looking for someone with experience. We publish way more content than we used to. We’ve doubled the number of writers, and we spend a lot of time screening and testing content. You’d be a great help, and the money is good... You could probably do it online, but if you’d like to come back, and spend some time here for a while, it would work out even better.”

  I ponder for a few moments.

  “I’ll have to think about it. I’m not sure this is something I’d like to do right now, moving here I mean, but the work would definitely interest me,” I mutter. “So, you didn’t tell me how the whole thing with Jonas went down,” I say with a different voice.

  She smiles.

  “Well... After you had left, he offered me the job. We started to work on different projects, and then to spend the evenings together, and one Friday night he invited me out, and we ended up at his place, and the rest is history,” she says.

  “So no paper balls with him,” I say, and she looks at me for a moment and then she starts laughing as she remembers her own words from a while ago.

  “No. No paper balls. He knows what he’s doing,” she says red to her hairline.

  “And he’s changed your mind about marriage...”

  “I’m not sure about that. It’s just that I’m willing to give it a try, and so far, he hasn’t disappointed me.”

  “That’s good to hear. So, regarding the party...”

  Her hand flicks up.

  “Before you say anything, I just want to warn you. Your mom was the one who invited Jonas and me to Brad’s party.”

  I freeze.

  “Are you serious?”

  4

  JAGGER, Rome

  “Signore?”

  “Non adesso. Sono occupato. Busy. I’m busy.”

  I slip through the cracked door, push it closed, and lock it.

  “Braxton?”

  My voice bounces around the room. I grab a bottle of water from the table, gulp half of it, and run a towel over my sweaty chest.

  I check my phone and start unbuckling my belt, looking for a clean T-shirt when I hear a knock on the door.

  “Jagge
r?” he calls my name, his voice drowning in the noise outside.

  He knocks again.

  Holding my jeans with one hand, I stride to the door, crack it open and pull him in before I lock it again.

  “Damn, this is crazy. Are all these people here to see you?”

  I nod, and smirk, our eyes locking.

  “Hey, man,” he says with a softer voice and he gives me a hug.

  He tears away, his gaze slipping down on me.

  “What were you doing?”

  “Changing. What do you think?”

  A mischievous smile glints in his eyes.

  “Were you?”

  I start to close my fly, and his hand comes to my neck. Slowly, he sways his head side to side and mouths a silent no to me.

  A slow grin curves my lips, mirroring his. He inches close to me, and my back hits the door. Wrapping his fingers around my neck, he tilts his head, and gently presses his lips to mine.

  My hand slackens on my fly, my blood throbbing in my jeans.

  “Brax...” I gasp.

  “I couldn’t wait to see you again...” he purrs against my lips, his voice vibrating down my spine, pleasure shooting through my groin.

  He slides his hand down my hot, damp skin, bringing his mouth to mine again, his tongue smoothly sliding over mine.

  Breathless, we share a slow kiss, our lips and tongues gliding together in a ritual of lust and love, the clamor outside the door fading in the background.

  I slip my hands under his T-shirt and run my fingers across his stomach. He breaks the kiss, grabs the back of his top, and pulls it over his head.

  Smiling, he unfastens his belt.

  He comes close to me again, his knee pushing between my legs, nudging them open. He locks my lips again, kissing me with fervor this time, his hand gripping my neck, his fingers sliding down below my waist, wrapping around my erection.

  “Did you miss this?” he breathes into me, running his hand up and down.

  I roll my hips and thrust against his fist.

  “I fucking did,” I murmur, pulling his zipper down, freeing his hard shaft.

  “Brax...” I whisper.

  Famished, he crashes his mouth on mine, and my heart flutters in my chest. He feels so fucking good, his blood boiling, hot as mine, his touch possessive and demanding, his longing burning through him, inescapable as mine.

  I hold him tight and stroke him hard while he groans and grinds against my hand.

  “Damn it...” he mutters, his eyes blazing with lust.

  We grind into each other, our cocks touching and rubbing, my fist locked around both of us. I breath fast, and so does he. Whatever else he had in mind is not going to happen.

  Not now, anyway.

  “Don’t stop,” I mutter.

  He cuffs my neck with both hands while I press him, flush, against me. He keeps grinding into me while I breathe heavily, my legs spreading slightly, my eyes sunk into his.

  A small smile curls his lips.

  “Fuck me... How good it feels,” I say as we get drunk on pleasure.

  His eyes dip to my lips only a second before he falls into me, sealing my mouth, swirling his tongue.

  We moan and groan as we fuck each other’s mouths, scaling up fast. A deep growl gurgles in his chest as he shoots his cum on my abs.

  Grunting, I press him hard against my shaft, releasing my own load. Completely swept away, we shudder and growl.

  A couple of firm knocks on the door rings out behind me.

  “Mister Parker, five more minutes,” shouts a man, his voice thick with an Italian accent.

  My body slackens.

  Grinning and panting, I take in the mess between us. His face lights up with a smile.

  “Shit. I gotta go, man... I’ll be done in another hour or so,” I say, fishing for a new pair of jeans and a T-shirt.

  I wipe my groin with a towel and throw him a clean one.

  “Are you gonna wait for me?” I ask.

  “Yes. Don’t worry about me. Go,” he says, his eyes brushed by a soft grin.

  I fly out the door.

  “Are you serious? What’s gotten into you, Braxton?” I say glancing around.

  His eyes turn electric blue like the lit water surrounding us. He flashes a mysterious smile.

  “I wanted to do something special.”

  I turn to him.

  “For me?”

  “For us.”

  Dumbstruck, I stop in the middle of the chamber and look up at the vaulted ceilings and the ancient pillars, and then the stretch of water snaking all around us, outlining the walls, sneaking into the next room where I spot an indoor patio.

  Stairs dip into the clear water, light beaming from below. Torches and candles coat the walls of the ancient Roman villa with a soft glow, mellow music drifting through the air.

  Mosaic floors stretch beneath our boots.

  “Is this a harp?”

  “Lyre.”

  “Hmm... Lyre, you say,” I murmur, gazing at the walls. “Is this the real thing?”

  Hands stuffed in his pockets, he leans against a column and takes in my reaction.

  “Yes, it is. Reconstructed and updated for modern living.”

  “How did you find it in such a short time?”

  He smirks.

  “I have connections.”

  I start laughing.

  “You do? It’s not that... what’s his face...?” I say teasingly, waggling my fingers at him.

  Laughter rocks his chest.

  “No, it’s fucking not. Put it to rest for fuck’s sake.”

  “It must’ve cost a fortune,” I say, serious this time.

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  I spin around and my eyes land on the large bed, set on a small platform with stairs leading to it. Truly fit for a king, it reigns in the middle of the lavish room, a table with seafood and fruit platters as well as large carafes of wine, sitting on the side, not far from it.

  “Fucking Roman orgy,” I murmur. “You’re set to steal my heart, aren’t you?” I say and turn to him, grinning.

  He tilts his head to the side, his lips curving into a warm smile.

  “Come. Let’s check this out,” I say, shrugging out of my jacket.

  My jeans, boots, and T-shirt hit the floor.

  “How deep is it?” I ask pointing at the water.

  “Deep enough,” he says, peeling his T-shirt off him, and pushing his jeans down.

  Butt naked, I dive in, warm water rolling over me. Colorful mosaic matching the floors of the rooms lines the bottom of the pool. The water reflects the light, a shimmering glow streaming from the torches leaning against the walls.

  Following the sinuous path of water, I swim into a different chamber where I pull up into a square shaped pool.

  I swim across, and lie on the stairs, on my back, my eyes drawn to the glass vault.

  Stars fill the winter sky above me as lukewarm water brushes my feet. I run a hand through my hair, watching him swimming underwater, heading to me.

  Propped on my elbows, I take him in as he rises to his feet and combs all his hair back. He squints at me, and smiles, swiftly registering my wandering gaze.

  My eyes drift on his naked body, licking his sculpted thighs. He combs a bang away with his fingers, a smirk pushing to his lips.

  “Damnit, Braxton...” I say, eyeing his semi-hard cock.

  He lies next to me, and rolls to his back, his gaze pointed to the sky as well.

  Perfect silence joins us for a few moments.

  “How is this for freedom, Jagger?” he says after a while.

  “I thought you forgot about it,” I murmur, folding my arms beneath my head, soaking in the sparkling sky.

  “I almost did,” he says softly. “It wasn’t even that hard. All this time what I thought was absolute freedom was nothing more than a life with you...” he says, soft and tender, and sad at the same time.

  I glance at him.

  He locks my eyes briefly
before he looks up again.

  “I tried to do the right thing, and leave you and Violet alone, give you some space, but in doing so, I went adrift, and I became unhappy, and every time I thought about you and Violet, I told myself, it must’ve been easier for you.”

  A soft smile tilts his lips.

  “It wasn’t,” I say.

  He nods softly.

  “Yes, it was.”

  “I wouldn’t be so happy to be here with you if it were,” I say, and his eyes come to mine, filled with hope, and warm with love.

  “What about her?”

  “You want the truth?” I ask, offering the ghost of a smile.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “She didn’t say much. She still believes she hurts my feelings if she talks about you, but I’m no fool. She kept asking about you, and had already made plans for Christmas, hoping that you’d come back to us.”

  “Did you tell her?”

  “About what?”

  His eyes connect with mine.

  “The last weekend.”

  I shake my head.

  “I haven’t had the chance. She’s always with some company or going somewhere. This evening, she was in a cab on her way to her ex-husband’s engagement party.”

  “Brad?”

  “Uh-huh. Fucking Brad. It’s a big family gathering. Her best friend is there. Her ex-boss too.”

  “You’re no longer worried about him?”

  “He’s off the market,” I say, laughing. “But I was damn right about him. He was looking to settle, so he went for the next best option.”

  He gives me a questioning look.

  “Her best friend.”

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “No. The man is engaged. They’ll get married next year. Hey, it could’ve been Violet instead of Liv.”

  He grins, amused, and then a shadow darkens his eyes.

  “How are you two getting along?” he asks.

  “Good, considering I’m barely home. It’s not the perfect situation, but right now this is all there is.”

  “And you?”

  “Me? Same as you. After you left, it no longer felt like freedom. And I’m not talking about Violet and me. We were good, but everything tasted like dust. And I know she felt the same way, yet we’ve never discussed it.”

  He searches my eyes for a moment.